Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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