It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
