great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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