Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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