there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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