Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
