I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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