omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
