girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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