whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
