It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
