I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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