would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
