sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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