rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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