you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Four minutes until I can fart!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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