officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
