you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
