Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
