okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
