I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
