You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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