Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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