dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
