who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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