just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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