I will die if light touches me.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
