Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
