At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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