ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
