Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
