He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
