A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
