ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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