I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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