i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
