I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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