So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
