he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
