You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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