I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
