Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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