I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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