Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
