all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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