Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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