Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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