he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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