is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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