he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
