No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
