she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
