I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
