i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
