just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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