It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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