I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize