he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
