he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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