i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
