in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
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I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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