This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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