matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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