in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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