my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
